I think I've gone through phases in my life where my adoption has really affected me and times when it hasn't. During those already awkward pre-teen/teen years when I was trying to find myself it was something I really struggled with because I didn't like myself so "my reality" of rejection and abandonment was an overwhelming theme. Thankfully I reached a point where I accepted who I was, where I'd been and why I'd been there. I also realize that my poetry reflects the "reality" of what I could see and understand at the time and might not have been the truth to my life....but it was, for me then, my truth and my reality.
She gave me up long ago.
She's been a face I've never known.
What do I do when the memories I have
are of a lonely child, abused and sad?
What do I do when I don't know why?
When it hurts so much I can't help but cry?
What should I feel when I hear her name?
Should I be full of love or full of pain?
Sometimes I just get so confused.
I don't know what to feel or what to do.
In my heart I love her so.
but in my mind it just hurts to know.
To know that my mother could not love me
to know she gave me to another family.
But I know now it was the best thing to do
because I've me and I've been made new.
There's a purpose for everything that's in my life
and there will always be times when I won't know "Why?".
But there is one thing I will always remember....
I have family, friends and a Savior who will love me FOREVER!
I'm a Gypsy soul, with an Entrepreneurial spirit and compassionate heart. I believe passionate people inspire people and that we all should be chasing our passions in life. I help others do that through helping others figure out how to LIVE life, LOVE more and LEARN as they GO explore.
Having taught ASL and Entrepreneurship both in the classroom and online to high school students for the past 12 years, I have a heart of teenagers and helping them succeed.
I also love encouraging closet gypsy souls who are afraid to just chase their dreams and be true to the real person they are who's been locked away inside because of fear.
I can't help but help!